A Conflicted Few
by Luckliness
Summary: When Bella becomes a scandal, and leaves Edward for sunny Arizona, they try to find ways to cope apart. But can they live without eachother? All human. M for lemons/explicit content.
1. Chapter 1

Hello :D

WATCH OUT: Football = soccer. I'll probably mix them up a lot. I apologise in advance.

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There wasn't anything wrong with Arizona. Bella was used to it from her childhood. She had even missed it, to come degree. It brought back memories of camping with her mother in the desert, encountering tiny little snakes occasionally when their slithering bodies dared go near the camp. But things were different now- she had messed up.

She was a mess, but she didn't like saying it, even to herself. Jacob was driving her to school, chatting about how psyched he was to have got into the football team. One of the strikers, 'forwards', had moved to Ohio, and Jacob had been the couch's first pick. He was big, strong, fast and competant in the sack- not that the couch would care about that. Bella blushed. She couldn't shake the habit, even now, after everything. The only reason Jake hadn't gotten in before is that his grades had sucked. Majority. Before Bella had arrived, all he'd cared about was his motorcycles and being a spectator at football matches.

After she had arrived, he had started taking an interest. She hadn't been as celebrated as when she first came to Forks, but he almost made up for it all by himself. But Bella Swan wasn't going to date anyone with a failing grade.

That was pretty definite.

And so, instead of dates, they had "tutoring sessions." It had worked out for them both. Jake's life was pretty much complete, and Bella could pretend that this was her dream life. The boy she had nurtured into getting a spot on the prestigious football team, the right grades, the "cool mom". Through Jake, she suddenly had friends, she had a social life, her quirks were seen as endearments.

And she knew Jake was aware that without him, she would have just been the loner she was before. Jake knew too much. He knew about the hell she had caused in Forks, he knew about E-Edward, he knew her carnally... And he was so sweet. She felt paranoid, sometimes, wondering if she was a monster for feeling uneasy when Jake instructed her that he was coming over. He was good for her. Renée approved. Even her dad! Mostly because Jake could watch a whole series of football with him, and be cheery through out. Edward hadn't been interested in that. He was a baseball fan. It still amazed Bella how much of a difference the choice in sport of her boyfriends meant to her father.

But he hadn't liked Edward for other reasons.

"Hey, Bella!" Jake said, and she realised she hadn't been paying attention to what he was saying. He grinned, because she daydreamed enough that this wasn't too offensive.

She ducked her head. "Sorry. I'm really happy for you," she smiled. "I knew all the work would pay off!"

"Thanks to you." His eyes glowed. He found a spot in the school's parking lot and Bella got out of the car quickly.

He jogged over to her and kissed her, cupping her face. The warmth of his touch was stifling paired with Arizona heat. Bella thought of how Edward's touch had been and blushed. Dammit... His fingers had always been colder than hers. He had blamed it on poor circulation, but she had l-loved it. When she blushed, her body heated up, and his skin had been like water against an uncomfortable flame. Relief. Perfect.

She pulled away, suffocating, and smiled at Jake. "Um. So I'll see you at lunch?"

He grinned. "Yeah. I'll meet you outside bio." He kissed her again, and she felt her heart clench at the thought of all the people that could see. She pulled away again, and made her excuses, heading inside to her locker.

Jake marvelled as he watched her go, wondering how he bagged her. Before, he had only been interested in motorcycles and wishing for things. Then she had arrived. Curiously broken, tantalisingly lost, the perfect damsel in distress that he had always had a soft spot for. So he tried approaching her, and her rejection somehow stirred a longing inside. So he took up her tenuous offer of tutoring, seeing she needed a distraction from her past. And then they started to hang out, to the point where he was giving her some lessons -okay, a lot of lessons- on how to be a little more...social. Less clumsy. They had both benefited. Since meeting her, it had been like a dream. She was his good luck charm. She got him doing things, improving, more hungry for his goals. He had gotten into the football team! He had her as a girlfriend. He hadn't even cheated on her yet. As long as he was good to her, life seemed to smile at him. It made him feel confident. No matter what other crap he pulled, he had Bella as his ticket to Heaven.

Especially in the sack. Like, dang. Even if it didn't happen as often as he'd like, he sort of got the whole "quality over quantity" thing. At least for now.

Bella stumbled on her way inside, but managed to catch hold of the door and keep walking. Some people saw, but didn't comment. Bella took a breath, imagining that she was exhaling embarrassment. The world didn't revolve around her. Nobody cared if she tripped. She was just one in thousands, and this wasn't Forks.

She stopped in front of her locker, and then a voice interrupted her.

"So..." a girl said.

Bella looked to the side, startled, and saw it was Leah Clearwater drawling at her. Leah, Head Cheerleader, Native American beauty, runner up Miss Teen Arizona Queen, voted Best Smile and Best Fashion Sense. Bella hadn't talked to her before, but the description scared her. It was like "intimidating" personified.

Bella tried to remember Jake's lessons, and smiled. "You sound like you've got something to say."

Leah smirked. "So smart. I was actually wondering if you're going out with Jake. Because Helen said you were, but," she shrugged, "I'm _so_ not into rumours." She tossed her head, and Bella felt two inches tall.

"We are," Bella consented, turning the smile to a grin. "He just told me he got onto the soccer team! I'm so excited for him." It felt weirdly like a script to say those words.

Leah's eyes narrowed, but her smile widened, and Bella wasn't sure what to make of that. "That's awesome...you're such a cute couple, you know? Almost as good as me and Sam. So I was wondering if you and him wanted to join us at lunch?" she grinned.

Bella had to slap the urge to correct Leah's grammar. 'Sam and I', not 'me and Sam'. She nodded. "That sounds super." Super?

Leah nodded. "Okay. See you 'round!" she left with an attractive laugh before Bella could reply.

Bella had a sinking realisation. Leah was going out with the soccer captain, Sam Uley. As the girlfriend of a jock, Bella...was dating a jock now. That felt so off. In her...previous life, she had hated jocks, been ignored by them, in totally different spheres.

She was a bookworm out of book.

She opened her locker, and got out the books she needed. History, Math, Biology... Edward... The immidiate association made her feel sick. Edward Edward Edward. She didn't let herself think his name around people, but now he was swarming through her head like a disease, covering her in guilt and shame. Hot under the collar.

She tried to think of something else.

Yes- how Leah had called her relationship with Sam 'cute'. It wasn't. They were so dysfunctional together it was occasionally hilarious. He was territorial, a manly man, and Leah got no end in pleasure out of taunting him and making him reek of jealousy. She practically lived off it, and that seemed to piss Sam off even more.

Bella didn't understand why they were together. She didn't understand much about relationships. She counted on Jake to guide the way.

She made her way to class.


	2. Chapter 2

Warning: I just switched chapters 1 and 2 around (12/January/2012). Sorry for any confusion.

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"Fuck me, Edward..." Tanya's voice cut through the air like a knife, straight into his nerves.

She was a slut. Not the kind of girl who practises sex with self-respect and simply enjoys it. Not the kind of girl who has multiple partners- _any_ partner, so long as they gave her presents. Not with Edward- she just liked that she could get back at his ex. She came from a rich family, and her two sisters, while not exactly good girls, didn't have half the amount of shit Tanya did floating over her head. Her daily outfit usually showed more skin than it covered. She revealed as much skin as Forks weather would allow, as much as she could get away with.

She still wasn't as bad as Bella

Edward shut his thoughts up.

He had invited her over at lunch, and after a blow in storage closet, she had seemed more than happy to come along. Edward knew he was pretty well-endowed, and figured Tanya wanted to do more than just taste it.

Tanya gave him a breathy moan, grinding down on his lap, as if they were really doing it. Fuck, it was turning him on. Her bare pussy was right over the bulge in his pants, and she lifted up her skirt over her hips, letting him see the source of the friction.

His dick was screaming at him, battling his pants. He cupped her, feeling her arousal, and glowered as she smirked. His erection pressed against her.

"Do you like that?" she simpered. Her hard nipples showed through the fabric of her shirt, little dwarfed by those huge, round breasts. She bounced a little when she saw his eyes there, making them bounce as well, the nipples rolling beneath the fabric. Every time her hips went down over his dick he groaned.

"Fuck." And then he was taking off his pants, standing slightly to push them off. His boxers followed, and then there was nothing between him and her, engorged cock springing to life. He could barely get the condom on fast enough, as Tanya goaded him, touching his chest. He pulled her shirt off sharply, no room left in his head to think. There was her body and his dick and every instinct in him that just told him he _owned_ her, and he was going to show her how much. She began to keen, that annoying high-pitched way, as he repeatedly soothe right spot deep inside. Hot skin against hot skin.

His skin felt filthy, and anger steadily built in his veins.

Whore. He was fucking the school whore on his couch.

Bella had done so much worse, but he felt like he was cheating on her this second.

Bella was a whore. His heart clenched. No.

Not his Bella.

Why was he even thinking about her!? He grabbed Tanya's tits, roughly handling her. Bigger than Bella's. Bella...swells of pink-dusted flesh, the way her moans were deeper, yet so much more feminine. Tanya broke his train of thought as she leant foreward, their tongues meeting in something that felt less like a kiss and more like a mutual rape. He swallowed, thanking God that Tanya couldn't get over herself long enough to notice his turmoil, and simply grabbed her hips until he was done with her and himself.

She lay against him afterwards, panting.

"That was fun!" she laughed prettily, and stood up. He could see the dark spots already forming on her hips, where he had clenched her too tightly. She smirked, turning her back to him as she bent down so he could see all of her. He watched her dmoving until her bra went on, and then abandoned the condom. He pulled on his clothes.

"We should do that again sometime," Tanya smirked when he faced her.

"Could you handle it?" he raised an eyebrow, and her eyes trailed down his body.

"Definitely."

He walked her to the back door, knowing there would be no next time with her. It had felt so weird and wrong. Tanya had been sending him winks and too-long hugs for years, and to reciprocate them...he wasn't doing it for the right reasons, and it made him feel like he was using himself. He couldn't be like this. It fucked with his head. Meaningless sex, sure, but not when he started to think about Bella as he did it with someone she had hated.

Though the hate was understandable; Tanya had made some advances while he and Bella were still together.

He couldn't have imagined this happening a week ago.

He flinched at the back door as Tanya leant up and bit his earlobe.

He watched her ass sway away. At least his dick had found a way to shut up. Tanya wasn't great, but she was good. Now, he had to find a way to silence his heart.

Silence Bella's voice in his head.


	3. Chapter 3

Bella daydreamed through History. Her thoughts has turned to Edward, like an obsessive creeper, but she couldn't get it out of her head. Their first time together. She had been a virgin, he hadn't. He had lost it to his ex, Tanya. Bella still hated even the thought of that smug bi- idiot. She shut her eyes and could almost imagine Edward's fingers, caressing her skin. The daydream was so vivid that her eyes jerked open. This was so twisted. She could not be imagining stuff like that, not now that she and Jacob were an item. She tried to change the daydream into one about Jake. His warm hands. The fumbling uncertainty of his first go, because this time it was she who had experience. Jake's hair.

But she felt scared that one day soon she was going to shout Edward's name against Jacob's skin, and ruin everything. She tried to keep their intimate times infrequent, but satisfying. Enough to get a fulfilled feeling in her body and keep the restlessness at bay.

She was glad when the bell sounded, bringing her out of her own mind.

After Biology, she met Jake outside her class. When he saw her he smirked, and his eyes flicked down to her rack. That was one thing he was great at: boosting her ego. With Edward, she had always worried that she wasn't good enough, that she wasn't enough, that she lacked something. She didn't have a particularly big chest or anything, she had been awkward... If it was some random guy checking her out, Bella would have been creeped, but with Jake it was like a little comforting tap on the shoulder.

That was the right way to think, wasn't it? She was so over- o-over E-Edward- she stumbled and Jake laughed, catching her around the waist.

"Hey, doll," he smirked down at her, and Bella had a sudden flashback of Leah with the same expression. Oh, yeah. Leah. Lunch.

"Leah invited us to lunch," she said. Jake grinned.

"Are you serious? Good job." He kissed her, then began to walk to the canteen, flaunting her beside him. Bella cringed for a moment, but made herself walk with a head held high, hating the glances she got. It felt so stupid to have people looking at her just because she was wrapped up with Jake. But this was good! She was being social and outgoing! Everything she had always sort of wanted. Being accepted.

"I didn't do anything," she laughed nervously. "Thank Leah..."

"Are you thinking about trying out for Cheer?"

Bella burst out laughing. "Me? I can't walk in a straight over a flat surface without tripping, Jake..."

He frowned. "Yeah. I guess." It felt like she had given the wrong answer to a question, but then he brightened and kissed her jaw. "You're coming to see me play, right?"

* * *

"Edward." Alice had a glare like ice wires being strung through his skin.

He looked up at her from the newspaper at the table. He looked picture perfect. Clean, unassumingly coloured clothes, a healthy breakfast in front of him and another place set up for her. "Hey." Except for his hair, really. That never obeyed. Escpecially not now.

He nodded at the empty place. "Emmett's already gone, and Dad's at work. How'd you sleep?" He looked like he needed it himself. Two dark rings hung from under his eyes.

Alice sighed and took a seat. "And mom?"

Edward shrugged. "Gardening. She doesn't want the squirrels to get the bulbs this year."

Alice put down her spoon. "Edward..."

"What?" A line of tension shot through his voice.

"You have sex hair." She curled her lip up in disgust, and Edward didn't know if it was because she had noticed, or because she was disappointed in him. He shrugged.

"Five points to Hufflepuff."

Alice groaned. "I'm Ravenclaw. You're Slytherin. Who was it? Oh, please, not Jessica. Or Lauren." Her face screwed up. "Ew!"

Edward rubbed his face and stayed silent as she began eating, expecting his reply. He didn't feel too odd talking to Alice about stuff like this, provided it was the bare facts. She never shut uand out Jasper, anyway. Eventually, the silence spoke for itself and Alice stared at him.

"Not Tanya."

He considered how well the kitchen had been designed. Whoever had done this was a genius. The cabinets were all-

"Edward, are you serious? Tanya?"

"I'm not doing anything wrong. She's single, I'm single. We had a few hours of guilt-free, mutually-consensual escapism." He swallowed hard at Alice's expression.

Her pixie eyes were narrowed, like a dragon. "Bella didn't betray you." Her voice was low.

Edward felt like he was going to be sick. "Really?" He put his hands flat on the table, trying to think straight. "Because last time I checked-"

His words cut off at the images being fed into his brain, the disgusting images, the months of bliss he felt with her while she...he rubbed his face.

Alice leant over and squeezed his shoulder.

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**Please leave a review to let me know what ya'll think!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'd like to thank people for follows, and special thanks to raeiv for the review!**

**Id also like to warn people, that chapter 2 (and chapters coming up like it) are not the only reason this is M. Explicit content, explicit content. This doesn't contain physical abuse, but if you're frightened by the idea of slight mental instability this probably isn't a good idea. I'll try to keep it realistic, keep true to my characters based on their histories...that I've made up, cause this is alternate, but anyhow, I promise to be as consistent as possible.**

**Also: Mr. Banner is the biology teacher in the Twilight series. I really liked the actor who played him in the first movie, (he was so funny!) and stress that this is just a twisted version of him. Kay? Im sorry, Bannerfans. I'm so, so sorry.**

**Hope you enjoy reading this chapter! A bit.**

**Ciao.**

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Mr. Banner was not, by any means, a brilliant biology teacher.

Actually, he wasn't a teacher anymore.

He had to remind himself of this frequently. He wasn't head of science at Forks High anymore. He had moved to Washington, as soon as he could. His biology degree had secured him a job with a magazine in that field.

Things had changed a lot for him. His fiancée has left him, of course, her hands close to choking him as she screamed about how he would burn in Hell. He'd known that ever since he saw Mike Newton staring through the glass, witnessing his downfall.

He was doing okay. Not a teacher, but he was good at adapting. He found ways of getting by. After all, he looked so...safe. Reasonable. Which, of course, he _was_. The flat he was renting was spacious and light, quite an excellent bachelor pad. In front of him, at his desk, was a stack of paper, assorted pens and pencils and a cup of strong coffee. He didn't usually work this late, but he thought it'd be better to make a good impression. He hadn't been there six months yet, and with a promotion looming stress would no doubt strangle him if he wasn't organised.

He focused his eyes back on the article in front of him. It was full of facts and figures about the likelihood of human beings ever being bioluminescent. Something that could appeal to the public, as well as the more specialised professionals who read the monthly edition of _The Biolograph_. It was total crap, in other words. Fluff. All theorised nonsense by a man who had probably never even dissected a corpse.

He labelled it with a green tick. It would be great for the front page- a picture of a glowing model with "Bioluminiscent Humans...Real or Not Real?" splashed across the cover.

This crap is what made people feel smart. And Mr. Banner was all about making people feelconfident like that. It was funny, how the exact skill which had wound him up in court, surrounded by _toys_ and video tapes, was what helped him get ahead in this profession. Why hadn't he gotten into this earlier? He could have made millions!

Well, at least more than he had in teaching.

Despite the satisfaction he had with this job, today had been like a sandwich filled with burnt marshmallows. His editor-in-chief smelled something off about him, as if she could tell from a glance that he was blacklisted, forbidden from teaching. She was hot, but too clever. Too self-assured to fall for his act. Her strength killed any attraction in him that could have been aroused by her mile-long legs.

Not all the attraction for her breasts and pouty lips had been killed, admittedly, but showers helped with that. It was useful when he imagined her older, when the plastic surgery would stretch her face into grotesque directions. He wondered why she would contort herself that way, being as clever as she was. Maybe she knew how much difference a pretty face could make to the old man usually sent to hire newbies.

She was smart, though...even if she turned into a weird deformed thing...

He rubbed his face, trying not to let worry seep into his head. It was all over. That part of his life. Bella, Tanya, Angela, Jessica, so many across different schools...he had more 'victims' than fingers. He almost laughed at the term. He'd been helping them. It had all been consensual, reasonable, and professionally done.

Not that the judge actually saw it that way, but when was the last time that prick had gotten laid?

Bella had been the one who needed the most help.

He remembered her frightened face, the terror in her eyes when she first confided in him, mumbling rapidly about how she felt like Edmund- Edmund? He mentally shrugged. How she didn't feel she was kissing Edmund right. How he would pull away, panting, and simply kiss her forehead instead of continuing...

He could barely believe how ready she was to break down. Bella had been living a high-wire act, supported by nothing but her unsteady feet. As soon as he showed willing, and eager, to listen to her secret problems, she turned into an obedient little girl. Trusting. His marionette. He couldn't have been more pleased. To an extent, he blamed her mother for how fragile Bella had been before he made her better. A sharp word, and she would isolate herself for days, never believing she could be accepted. She had hardly been able to stammer out a yes when Edmund- Edgar- whatever had asked her out, and told him Mr. Banner about the stress it came with, the uneasy eating habits, lack of sleep, unhealthy obsession with trying to make herself perfect for standards he never even set. Her terror of being alone again, after finding someone who she felt so in tune with.

It had been so difficult not to laugh when she stared into his eyes and whispered that she was certain she and -Edgar...AHA! Edward. That was it. He grinned- that she and Edward were soulmates. So quiet, so serious, so happy, and so, so petrified of having him leave her.

What a car wreck. That girl had seriously needed his help. As if _soul-mates_ existed!

Mr. Banner felt his body reacting to the memories with her already. A smile creeped up his face, and he relaxed into his seat. He'd need someone tonight. A recent intern had looked pretty nervous and disorientated when he showed her around. Probably not good to go after her...might cause a fuss, so close together job... At least he'd learnt not to get too confident.

That fear of losing something, easy to feel. He was good at playing with that fear.

His phone vibrated across the desk, irritating him out of his thoughts. He picked it up, saw the ID and decided he would get a new phone that weekend.

* * *

Tanya set her phone down after no one answered, and sobbed wildly into her hands. There was no one to see, but yet she couldn't stop being over-theatrical. It always felt like a million emotions were exploding through her whenever she felt something. Like she would burst into these, these exact tears, if she didn't get what she wanted, didn't do what she pleased.

But she hadn't talked to him for _weeks_. It was making her unstable, she knew it was. She had fucked Edward, and had enjoyed it, too much! He didn't love her! Not like Patrick Banner. He loved her. She screamed into her hands, rocking on the floor, and tried so hard to shut herself up before anyone could hear.

No one could see her breaking down.

It was either pills, the bulimia, the constant barrage of recreational habits that messed her up and she was just...fucking...fuck! FUCK.

She needed him, like air. He had made everything better. He had treated her so nicely, even after everything she had done to let him despise her and treat her like a doll. Most people did that. It felt right. It felt good to be her own best kept secret, it felt gold when people accepted her as a slut, not as a freakshow.

She dialed again, obsessive, hands shaking so hard that she almost accidentally called a restaurant in Mississippi. Her body felt wrong without his expert touch. She needed that man. A real man. Not like the stupid little students in Forks High, but the Head of Fucking Science against a desk, Patrick, whispering things like _You're so beautiful_, in her ear, every day, no matter what, tender and gorgeous and she could be so pretty just for him, her darling, because he was everything on earth—

He didn't answer and her perfectly manicured nails broke as she tried to hurt the phone. To punish it.

She had broken a nail. Not...not something Tanya Denali should do. Her breathing calmed slowly, and she stared at the cracked screen of her cell, trying to crawl out of the whirlwind of her head.

Edward. She wondered about how he's flinched when she kissed him goodbye. That made her angry. It scared her. Without Patrick...she was like...so irrelevant. Her jaw cinched. So pissed off.

But she just couldn't be angry now. Or sad. Or anything. She was so tired and empty.

Her mascara... Oh, no, her mascara was waterproof. But her blusher...

Where was she?

Tanya blinked.

...a clearing. Full of soft grass, swaying in the breeze. She had driven here after school, she could remember that, the spot where she and Patrick had made their private field trips.

She laid down in the flowers and grass, stripping off despite the chill, trying to soak herself into the ground.

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**Okay. I'd like to say that I am really sorry if any of this offends you. Mr. Banner is of course a terrible specimen of human for what he's done, Bella is...I'm really sorry, Bella, and Tanya is in a state that she really shouldn't be in for her own health. Edward and Jacob might be the only things that keep my story in one piece. My characters don't have much common sense. Sorry if this is AU...**

**Drop a review to tell me what you think, if you're still reading after this chapter. It wasn't easy to write.**


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